Hello and welcome!
My status of work in progress has shifted to a new place this week. Messages coming from the universe in many surprising and confusing ways.
The most difficult messages to accept are the positive affirmations. It is unfamiliar, and I have learned not to trust these messages. Criticism is so familiar, I offer it to myself consistently. Words of love, compassion, encouragement and acclamation burn through what I have structured to expect. I actually wince.
And yet they keep coming! So many people give me love. So many "thank yous" and "great job." Even crazier is hearing "you are..." followed by a description I do not recognize for myself. Gifted? Powerful? Strong? Who is that?
I shared this identity crisis with some trusted friends. I meditated. I journaled. The answer kept coming back, don't be afraid. I didn't believe it was fear I was experiencing, so I brushed those messages aside. Instead I bargained with God. Can I just be a humble servant? This was more acceptable, coming from a lowly place to give what is needed. If I was supposed to be strong and powerful, I could only see myself failing. I would disappoint anyone who believed in me. That was my fear!
My friend gave gifts of beautiful mantras and words of love written on labels that stick to a drinking glass. As we drink the water, we drink in message. I choose "humility: noble acceptance." Some refills and trips to the loo later, my crisis broke apart.
Everything good and beautiful in me is a gift. Denying the gifts is denying the Giver. These have been entrusted to me for reasons I do not yet know. My only obligation is to accept and trust. This is much more easily done with gratitude rather than disbelief.
So my work in progress has received new direction, and the power to move forward. I am so thankful!
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