Celebration

My dad recently celebrated his 85th birthday. His one wish was to gather family and friends together in celebration. His mom gave lavish parties every 5 years to celebrate her milestone birthdays. I remember her 85th and her 90th. She passed 2 months afterwards.

My dad isn't a lavish person, but he did want a party. My sister created invitations with pictures of him as a small child and as a young adult. My brother came from California. My dad ordered the catering and I ordered the cake. The day before the party, my dad and I shopped for party supplies, drinks, etc. I planned on setting up at the Irish-American club at least 2 hours before it started.

Things didn't go as planned. We were running late, the cake had the wrong age written, and the store was crowded. My control-freak nature was beyond frustrated.

As I stood on line for the cashier, waiting for the person in front of me, I was very aware that there was nothing I could do. I stood and looked at my surroundings. I felt my body buzzing and my heart beating. I focused on what was happening, like a scientist. It was interesting. I remembered other times I have felt this way, and they weren't always bad. I remember feeling this way when I went to my first concert, or going on a first date. I imagined my dad was feeling this way while he was waiting for me in the car.

We got to the club to set up while my husband and brother picked up the catering. My sister soon came and jumped right in setting up the coffee station. When the guys came back with the food, they also helped setting up.

As the guests began arriving, the women who belong to the club took over the kitchen. Gratefully, I began to relax. I was happy to see some people I grew up with. My cousin, whom I haven't seen in 5 years, sat with us and led our very amusing conversations. My grandchildren and nephew were happily playing outside with my sister's dog. My dad and his barbershop friends got into a circle and sang a few times throughout the party. He ended up with 3 birthday cakes! My 7-year old granddaughter put candles on all of them, which was fine since the kids also helped blow them out.

There are times when I get so focused on how I think things should be done, I tune out the clamorous music of life. Sometimes that is necessary. Sometimes I just need to let go of my itinerary and participate harmoniously in the present moment. At 85 years old, my dad still had more to teach me.