Celebration

My dad recently celebrated his 85th birthday. His one wish was to gather family and friends together in celebration. His mom gave lavish parties every 5 years to celebrate her milestone birthdays. I remember her 85th and her 90th. She passed 2 months afterwards.

My dad isn't a lavish person, but he did want a party. My sister created invitations with pictures of him as a small child and as a young adult. My brother came from California. My dad ordered the catering and I ordered the cake. The day before the party, my dad and I shopped for party supplies, drinks, etc. I planned on setting up at the Irish-American club at least 2 hours before it started.

Things didn't go as planned. We were running late, the cake had the wrong age written, and the store was crowded. My control-freak nature was beyond frustrated.

As I stood on line for the cashier, waiting for the person in front of me, I was very aware that there was nothing I could do. I stood and looked at my surroundings. I felt my body buzzing and my heart beating. I focused on what was happening, like a scientist. It was interesting. I remembered other times I have felt this way, and they weren't always bad. I remember feeling this way when I went to my first concert, or going on a first date. I imagined my dad was feeling this way while he was waiting for me in the car.

We got to the club to set up while my husband and brother picked up the catering. My sister soon came and jumped right in setting up the coffee station. When the guys came back with the food, they also helped setting up.

As the guests began arriving, the women who belong to the club took over the kitchen. Gratefully, I began to relax. I was happy to see some people I grew up with. My cousin, whom I haven't seen in 5 years, sat with us and led our very amusing conversations. My grandchildren and nephew were happily playing outside with my sister's dog. My dad and his barbershop friends got into a circle and sang a few times throughout the party. He ended up with 3 birthday cakes! My 7-year old granddaughter put candles on all of them, which was fine since the kids also helped blow them out.

There are times when I get so focused on how I think things should be done, I tune out the clamorous music of life. Sometimes that is necessary. Sometimes I just need to let go of my itinerary and participate harmoniously in the present moment. At 85 years old, my dad still had more to teach me.

Practice

Throughout my teacher training, both with Kripalu and Yoga Impact, maintaining our personal practice is required. It made sense that I keep up so I can physically demonstrate the poses that I teach. What I have discovered through my practice is much more profound.

There are times when I do sun salutations first thing in the morning just to get them over with. A check on my to-do list. Sometimes the whiny child in me begins to surface "I don't wanna practice." I breathe my arms up, and move through the sequence with my breath. I notice what is tight, what needs to be opened. I breathe and move gently in these spaces. When my practice is complete, I sit in meditation.

I have also come to the mat with my hands over my heart, with no thought of what will happen next. I practice the poses that are most challenging for me. I practice gentle watery movements to free any stiffness or tension. I memorize sequences and how they feel in my body. Whatever form my practice takes that day, it is always a practice of mindfulness.

I study teachings of yoga, science, philosophy and religion with fascination. I can read a passage, then months later, it's like I've never read it before. I find gold everywhere I look, and then I turn around and find it again.

When I practice yoga, there is gold. My mind and body calm, and I am clearer in my thinking and activity. It clears the distractions, negativity and the untruths that I have learned to believe about myself. My yoga practice goes deeper because it's not being told to me, it's being experienced. When I press my palms together in front of my heart, I offer love to all the parts of who I am. Even the parts that are harder to accept. When I raise my arms overhead, joy is present. When I stand strong in a warrior pose, the shy wallflower within me is transformed.

In "Living Buddha, Living Christ" Thich Nhat Hanh explores the teachings and practices of two people who lived on the earth thousands of years ago. Though culturally expressed differently, each practice brought their followers to that place of divine peace; whether it be called Nirvana or Kingdom of God. He further emphasizes that practice is necessary even when that peace has been reached. If the practice is discarded, all that was discovered becomes an array of concepts and ideas. What is touched upon in our practice is alive, it is the essence of our being that gets lost in our busy-ness.

I discovered the song "I Am What I Am" sung by Aykanna. The lyrics are simple and repetitive. "I am what I am. And that's alright." For reasons beyond my understanding, I was drawn to share this song with my very musical granddaughter.

The next day, I went to my beloved teacher's yoga class. She talked about the yoga practice burning away all the stuff that doesn't belong to you to get you back to who you truly are, which is pure bliss. You are already fine just as you are, yoga is just a way to see that.

I closed my eyes in reverence to the connection I just experienced. I felt tears fall as my practice had already begun.