Ahimsa (Part II)

As this first yama (personal restraint) keeps returning into my perspective, I would like to offer some clarifications and expansions of my viewpoint. I encourage my yoga students to listen to their own inner voice, and I extend this to you. Take what resonates, leave the rest.

1.       Ahimsa to yourself first. When I am unkind to myself, it is difficult to be authentically kind to others. It may be tainted with resentment or, to the opposite extreme, superiority. When I care for myself with compassion, I begin to recognize my inner light. Then I can more easily recognize the light in others so that compassion follows naturally. Compassion for myself first also protects me. Some people are in such pain or disconnect, their actions and behaviors are harmful to themselves and those around them. Some people are simply moving in a different direction than me. Distance and boundaries may be created with compassion and non-judgment.

2.       Ahimsa is an attitude, a behavior. It doesn’t matter if I like a person or what they do. It doesn’t matter if we are “on the same page” with our values and beliefs. I don’t even need to feel happy in their presence. I only need act in kindness, to trust that their inner light is as brilliant as mine, whether I see it or not.

3.      Ahimsa is the foundation. In my previous post, I mentioned it is the first of the five yamas (compassion, truth, non-stealing, energy management and non-attachment). The yamas are the first limb in Patanjali’s Eightfold Limbs of Yoga, before postures and meditation. If we have any of these practices without ahimsa (compassion, non-harming) it will not be worthwhile.

1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4.       Ahimsa is love in action. We don’t need to like everyone or feel good about everything all the time. My practice is to be present in each moment, not judging what is present, just observe with a compassionate and open heart. When action is appropriate, than I have better discernment to bring forward what is most loving and beneficial. 

Ahimsa

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.—Plato

I grew up watching Mork & Mindy, and enjoyed watching many of Robin Williams’s movies. When I learned of his death, my heart sank into a spiral of “whys”. Though I didn’t personally know him, it still hurt to recognize the depth of his pain. Viewing the many tributes, I understand that he was an extraordinarily generous and kind person.  Though I have no direct connection him, I feel very connected to his soul. 

Ahimsa is Sanskrit for non-harming. It is the first yama, or restraint, in Patanjali’s Eight-fold Path of Yoga. I believe it is the most important, and the other yamas and niyamas (observances) follow it because it must come first. Ahimsa is non-judgment, non-violence, compassion and kindness. It is to be merciful.

If we have Ahimsa first for the self, then it naturally extends to others. This has been my the challenge, as I have received the opposite message in the past. In meditation, I connect to my true self. When I look within, I find a profound sense of peace and wholeness. I carry this connection throughout my day, in all activities and interactions. Sometimes I lose this connection. As my practice deepens, I can recognize when that happens and find it again more and more quickly.

I have used judgments as shortcuts to the truth. Though my intentions were not to harm, the results were most often harmful, to me and to whom I was judging. This is not new information, but this knowledge would be habitually cast aside when old beliefs are triggered. As I connect within to my true self, these triggers become less effective, until there is no emotional charge at all.

The truth is that each person has this profound wholeness within them. Some people may be more connected to their true self than others.  Some people may be deeply attached to beliefs that separate them from their true self. Some people may suffer unimaginable mental or physical pain that blocks their connection. There is no shortcut to understand what anyone’s personal experience is. That is why judgment does not work.

What does work is Ahimsa. Non-harming. When we lead with that intention, when we look at each person with compassion, things begin to change. People begin to change. When we connect in kindness, we are free to soften our judgments and beliefs of separation. If we begin with Ahimsa, what follows has the opportunity to become more fruitful.

Robin Williams’s life and his death has affected much of the world. Surely he will be portrayed as a part of our cultural history. The greater truth of this person is the same truth that dwells within each of us, within our deepest knowing. We are each connected in this divine mystery.

The Butterfly

Females particularly seem attracted to butterflies, and I am no exception. When I was 4 years old, my mom said “don’t move. There’s a butterfly on your shoulder.” We both knew it was auspicious. That was a sacred moment I have carried with me, never fully understanding it, yet always grateful.

Enhancing my meditation practice, I am following the Mentor’s Channel 21-day practice focusing on the teachings of Osho, a 20^th century mystic. One meditation focused on the importance to take risks, to venture outside the comfort zone and truly live life. I recognized this message was essential for my continuing development.

When I first began teaching yoga, I was not comfortable being the teacher. The sympathetic nervous system was in high gear! My heart would race, my clothes would stick with perspiration, and my muscles would brace to fight or flee. Fortunately, this subsided through time as I became familiar with being in front of the room, leading my class through asanas and breathing.

Other areas of my life still get my heart racing. Riding my bicycle with cars on the road gets me nervous, even after I took an empowering and thorough traffic skills course. About 5 years ago I would ride to my office a few times a week. Life changes took me out of that routine, and my time on the bike has fallen through the years. My husband is an avid cyclist. I do not join him and our friends for group rides. That’s not alright.

My husband and his dad took a 5-week bicycle/ camping trip from Seattle to Los Angeles this spring. That is wild living! Not knowing where you will sleep each night, never mind the ever-changing road conditions, weather, water supply, phone signal, etc. Meanwhile I am safe at home in my routine of teaching yoga, seeing my friends, and caring for the home.

The dichotomy within our marriage isn’t lost on me. I want to explore the world with my partner, without fear holding me back. I trust him; I know I am safe with him. Now is the time for me to trust myself. I have been given this awesome gift of life! I am choosing adventure, embracing it all. I may shake from the inside out, that will not stop me.

Like the butterfly stuck in the cocoon, I was fearful of breaking through the walls of protection that I have built around me. It has served its purpose, and now it is time to emerge. To remain in the cocoon is to be stagnant, less than alive. I have known women that never left their cocoon, their life constructed of barriers, hidden from life. I am choosing to emerge, to live vibrantly. My wings are vibrant.