There are many meanings of the Sanskrit word, dharma. It is known as the path of righteousness, duty, quality, virtue, cosmic law and order, and vocation. Dharma is derived from the root dhr "to hold; maintain." My understanding of dharma is life purpose, which is based from reading a translation and many interpretations of The Bhagavad Gita. Each person is born for a reason, and it is our job to live in service for that reason.
From childhood, I have been
conditioned to believe that I wasn’t needed. It has affected my relationships, my health, my behavior,
and basically my entire perspective on everything. Any slight was taken as
proof of this belief. It’s a very painful way to live.
And then I
broke. I remained on Earth with all it’s events happening around me, but I
wasn’t part of it. In these
days, I would walk. In this solitude, I slowly began to connect to the ground
below me, and then the sky above me. As I
walked, I saw what was going on around me, between the ground and the sky. I
wouldn't talked to anyone, and I was sure to be out of the way. As time passed, I slowly began to accept smiles, nods and eventually hellos.
These small gestures felt good, and I was ready to allow them to feel good.
During this
time, I did a lot of work for my healing. Then something happened beyond all my efforts. I received divine intervention. My divine
intervention came in the form of earth angels. These angels are ordinary people
with extraordinary hearts and insight. They came into my life, and became my
friends. They are in my life to this day, and will always be in some form. More
than helping me heal, they recognized me as one of their own.
This
trajectory never stopped or reversed, it grew exponentially. It challenged my old beliefs and destroyed them. Some may call
this an awakening or a rebirth. I see it as a
gift I dare not waste. Truly, it
has all been a gift. Without my previous experiences, I may not recognize the miracles I experience now.
Recently, I received a letter from Kripalu, addressed in my own handwriting. It was a letter I had written to myself during my final days of teacher training. I completely forgot the contents, so it was like reading a letter from a dear friend. The letter mapped out my dharma, and I cried because I knew I was living it. The letter concluded, "Share your joy. There is no shame. Your joy brings joy."
All of these gifts
come from love. I know that because I am a part of that. I also know that I am
needed exactly as I am. I
simply show up, fully present. Whatever happens from that is not really my business. Being connected to the source of love takes care of the rest.
This is a
very joyful way to live.
