Energy

Last month I received my 700-hr Yoga Therapy certification. This month I became a White Light Reiki Master. My teacher remarked on how quickly my journey has evolved. With my yoga and meditation practice, the path just grows clearer. This month, I am being gentle with myself, unplugging more, and allowing the energy of Reiki to integrate into my physical, mental and spiritual being.

What is Reiki? It is an over 2500-year old practice of tuning into this high vibration life-force, which was rediscovered by Dr. Mikao Usui over a century ago. A great overview can be read here. My personal experience has been healing and transformative. I am honored to teach this ancient practice with all who are compelled to learn and experience.

Since becoming a Reiki Master, life has gotten quite loud and chaotic around me. I am surrounded by betrayal, greed, drama, and a host of lower vibration energies that do not match what I am looking to cultivate in my life. Perhaps they have been here all along, and they are now being revealed in a way that I cannot ignore. Nevertheless, these circumstances leave me conflicted.

Raised as a good catholic girl, I was taught to put my own needs aside and help others. As a Yoga Therapist and Reiki Master, my career is based on helping others. So when confronted by the screams of desperation, I feel guilty that my instinct is to move in the other direction.

It is a popular perception that yoga teachers are all free-love, easygoing kind of people. I have never been that. I do not socialize easily, and it takes time for me to be comfortable in any environment. I am highly sensitive to energies that are present. Being around harsh energy is very unsettling, and I lose my equanimity. Using discernment to where I invest my attention serves me well.

Discernment is not judgement, it is fully perceiving and comprehending what is true in order to mindfully choose appropriate action. I look at where I am, and purposely decide how is best for me to move forward. I pray for guidance. I may consult loving friends and teachers. I do not need to be all things to all people. I need to be the very best me; authentic, strong and loving.

Dr. David R. Hawkins wrote Power Vs. Force, which changed my way of perceiving my life and the people in it. Within the book is a Map of Consciousness, which calculates the vibration of different energies, or states of being. This has allowed me to release judgement of those stuck in lower vibration energies. Hey, I've been there too. I have chosen to move upward, and I use this map as a compass.

These days have been challenging and confusing for many people. Energy levels are extremely high, and we may not feel like ourselves. Moon and planetary cycles also affect our energy. Therefore, don't take anything personally. That includes praise and criticism. It is none of our business what others think of us. Our responsibility is to ourselves. We choose the experiences that we want to create. No judgement.

Tipping Point

I have recently earned my 700-hour yoga therapy certification, which is 500-hour advanced yoga instructor through Yoga Impact along with my 200-hour yoga instructor through Kripalu. I have been in training mostly since 2013, and will continue toward my 1000-hour yoga therapy certification next year.

After an in-depth discussion with my mentor, Nancy Candea,  I have validated my progress and direction, and determined the appropriate steps to move forward. I see this as a tipping point more than an accomplishment. I am finally doing the work that is aligned with my values, and it is with great joy and gratitude that I continue to learn, share and practice. This is a commitment that I make to myself and my community.

Why did I choose this? I've been through a lot. I have gained lessons and deep realizations from all that I've experienced. I use the tools from my yoga practice to sort through my thoughts and feelings, acknowledge what is present, release what no longer serves me, and decide what experience I want to create for myself.

I use the physical practice of yoga to connect with my body. I want to feel good in my body, to be strong and healthy. For many years, I was so disconnected. I ate and drank for comfort, smoked and spend too many hours on the couch. When I first started taking yoga classes, I cried a lot. Connecting back to myself was scary and hurt like hell. All the years of talk therapy didn't do what yoga did. Something happens when the body is held in different shapes and moved it in different ways while mindfully breathing. This is something that I need to do everyday.

Meditation has taught me to use my mind, rather than being controlled by it. When I first began practicing meditation, my mind went everywhere! I would get so frustrated and angry with myself. Then I found some guided meditations, chanting mantras, and hand positions that helped me focus. With practice, it became easier. I began to notice when my mind would wander off, and I could bring it back without feeling bad. I use the practice of meditation throughout my day, by noticing more around me, noticing how it affects me, and choosing if and how to respond.

Spirituality is the intimate relationship with that which is greater than the self. People have their own beliefs and understandings of what that is for them, which I deeply honor. As with yoga and meditation, I take time everyday for prayer. In yoga, I focus on the breath as the spiritual connection. In Latin, "spirare" translates to breathe. Spirare is the root word for spirit, respiration, inspire and aspire. In Sanskrit, "prana" translates as life-force and "pranayama" is restraining or controlling of life-force energy.When we deliberately and mindfully control the inhale and exhale, we strengthen the connection with our body, mind and spirit.

Moving forward, I continue to expand my knowledge and experience of these practices. I study the anatomy of the human body, psychology, trauma, diseases and other conditions that can be alleviated with yoga. I read and listen to spiritual teachings, both ancient and modern. I offer yoga therapy in yoga studios, health centers, private group and individual sessions.

This world can be chaotic, distracting, and upsetting. So many people are going through so much. I am here to help more people be strong, relaxed and empowered using the practice of yoga.

Don't Stress

April is National Stress Awareness Month, and I have been sharing information and tools throughout the month in my classes and on my Facebook page.

April began with my mom going into the hospital and having surgery. A few days later strong winds tore off part of the roof at my husband's family business. In the meantime other scheduled obligations still needed our attention. That saying "it was one thing after another" certainly applied with more intensity then usual.

I took these situations as lessons for me to manage my stress with the very same tools that I was sharing. Using my life experiences as a laboratory for my yoga practice has served me well.

The first thing I needed to do was breathe. Being stuck in the car for hours, there wasn't much else I could do. I had control of my breath, not much else. As I made each breath deeper and fuller, my mood began to calm. I knew I needed to balance my stressful experiences with happier and more relaxing ones. I deliberately shifted my focus to the things I was grateful for in my life. I was very thankful that I wasn't going through this alone, my husband is my biggest support. I have support from so many people, even acquaintances checking in with me to see how I'm doing. I'm grateful for my daughter and my grandchildren. It is my joy to share in their lives, giving them support and love and receiving so much more in return. Reflecting on my gratitude, the stress was still there, but it didn't take up all my head space.

When things began to ease, I incorporated more time for exercise. I wasn't being mindful all winter, feeling like I get enough exercise from teaching yoga and running around doing errands. I was sitting way too long at the computer, and it's not good for my physical or mental health. I just need to set the time to do it. I usually don't feel like exercising until I'm about 10 minutes in, then the endorphins kick in and I'm having a blast! I'll dance around the house, going for a brisk walk in my hilly neighborhood, do a YouTube video or do a lot of fast paced sun salutations to my favorite music.

My meditation practice always helps me get through whatever appears in my life. I simply sit quietly, focus on my breath, and maybe a mantra. A mantra can be a word or phrase that resonates as a positive affirmation. After meditation, I am in a completely different state then I was before I started. I see the world through a clearer lens. I feel as if I am standing on a mountaintop, my perception is broader. From this space, it's easier to respond to the world peacefully.

There are so many healthy ways to manage stress, I encourage each person to find what works for them. Writing is very effective in expressing the deepest part of myself when I don't yet feel safe sharing it with anyone else. I keep my journals so I may review what are now memories through the eyes of the person that I was during those times. Or you can rip it up and throw it in a fire.

As April began winding down, it gave us the most traumatic stress experience. My husband's childhood friend died suddenly. We moved around in shock for days. At the funeral home, we joined in the collective grieving, facing our pain-filled loss together. The eulogies gave us permission to laugh through our tears, as we remembered the person we know in our hearts.

Strong social connections are crucial, as life continues to teach me. We affect each other's energy, we are drawn to those who make us feel safe and cared for. We spend our time with those who make us feel understood. My greatest lesson I learned this month is to honor these connections, they are what carry us through this life. I do yoga and meditate because it has made me a better friend. The stresses in life no longer control how I respond to life. When I choose to see it all as a gift, I am grateful.

Bhakti Yoga

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
"Anthem" Leonard Cohen

I've been having a few rough days. A lot seemed to be happening at once, and I was challenged keeping up. I felt inadequate. Then nobody showed for my yoga class, and my ego really took a hit!

Yes, my ego is still intact. I have yet to burn through all my illusions and attachments to come into a perfect state of enlightenment. I stopped waiting for it to happen. Yes, I am on my path. I study, pray and meditate. I am learning to trust that I am where I am supposed to be. When no one showed for class, that trust cracked a bit.

The truth is this happens. People have job, families to care for, they aren't going to make every class they would want. My ego convinces me otherwise. Maybe I'm failing. Maybe I'm not doing enough. Maybe I am not enough.

I am learning that we don't always see the entire picture. What looks bleak can become our blessing. What feels uncomfortable or even painful may become our breakthrough. It can fuel us to create the changes necessary to move forward.

The next class I taught was filled with wonderful people that I see every week. They are so lovely and open to whatever I'm drawn to share with them. I feel useful. They have grown more comfortable asking me questions and giving me feedback after class. This gift of community gets me out of my self-depreciating rut.

I have been listening to the CD "Seva Volume 7, Sounds of Bhakti" shipped to me from Kripalu. I use it in my home practice, and recently began sharing the music with my classes. Seva is Sanskrit which translates as service. Bhakti is the yoga of love and devotion. It is leading life with an open heart and connecting to the Divine. This is what I stopped appreciating in myself. It was time to be reminded.

On this day,  I led this wonderful group of yogis inspired by this music. I spoke very little, allowing the class to connect to the mantras being sung. Every word, every pose had meaning. They sprang from a divine source, guiding me. The energy in the room was palpable. I saw each person shine brighter and brighter. My ego got very quiet.

In my Kripalu teacher training, Jurian Hughes shared the most essential requirement to being a yoga teacher. "Just love them." There's a message from the angels, "we wish you could see yourself as we see you." I close my sessions, "the light in you is seen and honored by the light in me. Namaste."

This is Bhakti Yoga.

Solstice

Last night we embarked up Pyramid Mountain on a group hike in celebration of the winter solstice, led by our friend, Douglas Vorolieff. As we witnessed the sun setting while the moon was rising, my friend Irene remarked that she became very aware of walking on Earth, this massive planet. It was a shared moment of wonder, a return to innocence.

As we walked down the mountain in the moonlight, I noticed the group got very quiet. It was a sacred stillness that I have experienced after some yoga classes. Partially stemming from fatigue, there is also a sense of connection to something greater.

As I journey into this new season, my intention is to remain connected to that which is greater than me as I let go of lesser attachments. When I am aligned with that, I experience more ease and joy. Arguments resolve, wounds heal, new friendships and other miracles become commonplace.

There are many ways to get into this space: nature, yoga, prayer, meditation, music, art and zillions more. Sometimes it's challenging to find time. I am blessed that my schedule is usually flexible, though there are times when it gets strained. At those times, a deep breath and a quick prayer suffice.

My gift to you this season is my discovery of the Map of Consciousness, created by Dr. David Hawkins. Using applied kinesiology, specific states of consciousness were identified and measured. The lowest level of shame logs at 20 and the highest level of enlightenment logs at 1000. Courage logs at 200, which begins the higher levels of positivity and truth. All we need is courage to expand into higher levels of consciousness! I enthusiastically encourage you to look deeper into Dr. Hawkins writings and lectures.

However you choose to go into this new season, I wish you peace.

The light in you is seen and honored by the light in me.

Namaste.

The Music Within

Yesterday, we attended my dad's last performance singing in the barbershop group, Morris Music Men. It was the first time my parents, all the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren were together in many years. The performance was beautiful and fun. The kids got excited to hear songs they knew, like "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and "Day-O." Between songs, the MC shared entertaining stories peppered with jokes. Some songs stirred deeper emotions and memories. There were moments that I was overwhelmed with a certain joy; watching my dad and his friends on stage and sharing this experience with the people I love. I literally felt my heart expand. It even hurt a little.

My family has its complex histories as a whole as well as within individual relationships, as I have learned most families do. I'm really proud that we all agreed to come together to support my dad. It's not easy to let go of the words and actions past. It's not easy to resist falling back into those patterns that aren't loving or honorable.

I brought my experience from yesterday into my yoga practice this morning. I didn't know how it would unfold, so I started with my sister's mantra, "it is what it is." I allowed my breath to guide the movement. I dared to breathe deeper, to listen, to feel. My most tangible, physical body assured me I am safe. My breath opened more space within me. My mind focused on observing what was present, what was shifting. Divine wisdom revealed my true power. As I continued to explore this revelation, I slowly surrendered in bliss.

Our words and actions stem from what's happening within us; our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. If those are negative, so will our words and actions. Our true power is we can change our thoughts, which change our feelings. When we change to more positive thoughts, and feel positive, our words and actions become more positive. When the feedback we receive becomes more positive, then our beliefs can change. This true power that we have within us affects everyone and everything around us. It is our choice how we influence our environment.

Hugging my dad goodbye, I thanked him for bringing us all together again. The show was a beautiful gift to us, bringing us together in music and laughter. It was a really good performance. He said they were just having fun up there. When you're having fun, it's easy.

Now I See

Recently, I was invited by our lovely friends, Martin and Nancy Nusbaum, to visit The See Eye, a  philanthropic organization whose mission is to enhance the independence, dignity, and self-confidence of blind people through the use of Seeing Eye^®dogs. On a Saturday morning, I joined a tour of the Seeing Eye, led by Martin. I gained a greater understanding of what it is like to maneuver through life with blindness,and the gift of independence the Seeing Eye dogs offer.


The Seeing Eye's comprehensive program breeds and raises puppies to become Seeing Eye dogs (or obtains them occasionally by purchase or exchange); trains Seeing Eye dogs to guide blind people; instructs blind people in the proper use, handling, and care of the dogs; conducts and supports research on canine health and development.

Martin and one of the graduates of the program shared their experiences and answered our questions with candor and passion. The basis of the training is love. When a puppy is raised in a private home through the program, they are taught simple commands, learn social behavior, and experience love with an abundance of affection. When the dog is ready for training back at the Seeing Eye, the focus of the work is cultivated, and they are rewarded with affection. When the owners meet their dogs and learn to navigate together, the relationship develops with love.
I experienced this love through my relatively short visit. The puppy with Martin was not shy in sharing his affection with me and the other visitors. It creates a very warm and relaxed atmosphere. My protective walls came down and my heart beamed open. It is a common occurrence at the Seeing Eye, people leave transformed by their interactions with the dogs. Even if they are working, their very presence is calming.

A few days later, Pete and I participated in a yoga practice guided by Nancy at the Seeing Eye. The mediation and yoga theme was peace. In this sacred space of love and trust, peace flowed with ease. 

Nancy teaches teaches Wednesday evenings at 6:30pm at Purple Om.
If you are interested in donating, every dollar of your gift goes to support The Seeing Eye’s programs. All gifts to The Seeing Eye are tax deductible.